Attention: this is another rant post with fool language and my own personal opinion about a controversial issue. Skip it to be drama-free. Thanks
I get that A LOT. I got somewhere, I say "Hi" to someone and the first question I get is: "Where are you from?"
It irks me to no end and I'm gonna explain why.
I leave in the United States of America, I've been in Florida for the past 5 years, but was born and leaved in Italy until I was 24 years old. I came to this country with lots of dreams and broken English. I think I mastered the basic of the language over time but yet it remains a very strong Italian accent in my speaking. I find it hideous and I'm very self-conscious about it, but on the other end, it defines me and who I was before coming here and who I still am.
So, when somebody hears me talking and calls me on it, I find it incredibly rude and I get really defensive. My husband always gets on me, trying to explain that people are curious and attracted by the exotic part of me, but dude, I don't say Hi to people and ask them if they are American before we are on a first name basis and I think other people should do the same. Yes, I'm a righteous ass hat that treats people with respect and expect the same. Bite me.
I can't count the times that I've been told that America should not allow immigrants in, "all those illegals free loaders that comes over here and gets all the benefits, don't pay taxes and get money out of the country".
Can't tell you how many people say that this is what made the American economy so bad.
I won't even mentions the times that I had a legit complaint about something and was answered "If you don't like it, go back to your country". I would if I could, trust me.
I've taken the habit to politely smile and trying to explain that I'm perfectly legal, I have a viable visa, I have authorization to work and pay my own taxes. Last one that I got today is "If you're not a citizen, it doesn't matter, you're offending me". NICE.
So, if you are among those "Americans" that think that immigrations if wrong and that immigrants caused your country to be in a bad financial state, let me explain you a few things.
It wasn't me, or any other immigrants, stealing jobs. It was you "Americans" that were too good to get some of the job that are now available only to us.
How many "Americans" do you know that work on the constructions, scorching in the sun od the side of the road fixing the pavements? I only see Mexican and Latinos doing jobs like that. But you, "American" drive on that same road with your expensive gas-sucking SUV and push the horn to get the workers out of the way.
It wasn't me, or any other immigrant, getting money out of your country. It was you "Americans" that went to outsource jobs in cheaper places like India and Pakistan, importing cheap stuff Made in China and living the "American Dream" maximizing several credits cards while getting food stamps and social disability from your government.
It wasn't me, or any other immigrant, stealing your "culture" as you already didn't have one. The "original Americans" were Indians, all the rest came from all over the world. Maybe if you'd study your own country history you will know that.
Regarding of a person like me, on a green card, begin a "free loader" and "enjoying the benefits", let me tell you something.
I paid money to get my visa. You didn't have to pay for your birth certificate.
I paid money and time to learn your language. Yet, you ruining with slangs.
I went to college in my country and paid for it, now I will have to pay to have my life translated so I can be worth to do your mani and pedi. Most of you, have already job offers before you finish college.
I haven't seen my birth family in years, you move from state to state to avoid yours.
I study your country cultures and celebrate holidays accordingly, like thanking the troops that are fighting for America on Memorial Day. You run to Walmart to buy meat for your barbeque and beer to get drunk. You don't even know or respect your own holidays, let alone mine.
At the age of 30, I'm raising 2 American kids, supporting and loving American husband and I own my (small) business. At the age of 30, the average American is overweight, depressed, laid off/quit the after college job, and went back to leave with mom and dad on Welfare.
And you know what? My accent is thick and my skin may be a different color, but my mom gave me an education on manners, didn't stuck me on day care so she could go get her tan at the beach.
To be here, in this country, I spent all my life saving, gave up all my dreams, estranged my family, lost my friends, lost big events like their wedding or their funeral. I'm still waiting to start "enjoying my benefits" I guess.
Next time you want to call me "illegal free loader" just stub me in the heart instead: it's the same thing.
I'm always honest, I help when I can, I give to charity and I try to be fair and a better person EVERY DAY. If that offends you, it's not my problem, but yours.
You're an ignorant, racist, bigot and I feel sorry for you.
If by becoming "American" means I can become more like you, then I guess I will be a "free loader" for life.
Summer is definitely arrived in the Pan Handle of Florida and with the school almost over, me and the kid LOVE to spend time outside.
But with the summer, the annoying mosquitoes and various bugs also arrived and they seemed to have fun feasting on me and my children (my daughter especially), even after applications of store bought repellants :(
I'm not going to have the little buggers spoiling our fun tho, I just went bug repellant shopping and with the help of another blogger, Miss Val's Creations, I fell right on MilkAndHoneyNaturals on Etsy and her solid bar repellants.
I loved the idea of the solid bar instead of the store-bought spray that with young kids is gonna end up into their eyes, clothes and what not, but never everywhere on the skin, leaving few "vulnerable" spots.
We now have the wonderful habit to relax sitting on the chairs in our garage, letting the bar melt a little in our hands while we talk about our day and then lather our self us and smell the lovely citronella :)
No more little bugs bothering us, bring on the fun!!!!!
Wanna have fun too?? I hope so because you might be the lucky person to win one of those bars!!!
Winner will receive 1 Citronella Cream Solid Lotion Repellent Valued at $6 from MilkAndHoneyNaturals
Use the rafflecopter form below. The first 2 entries are mandatory: You must leave me an email to reach you in case you win AND visit MilkAndHoneyNaturals to tell me which item from her shop is your favorite .
Yesterday was Mother's day and for me was a very difficult day.
Sure, the cuddles and sweetness from hubby and the kids was nice, but in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but to miss MY mom and thinking how much my dad was missing his.
Moms go through a great deal and I always thought that teenagers years were the worse, I know I myself gave my parents lots of headaches and disappointments as a teenager. Then again, my oldest is only 8 and I feel I already went through 10 times worse of whatever my parents experienced with the 3 of us.
I wanted to come here and write a really cheerful post about mothers, when I came across this.
Yet another proof that the world really doesn't understand what Autism is and how much it can affect these children and young adults out there.
Do you know that a person with autism can get really depressed about this, at the point of thinking suicide?
Is that what the other people wants? Is that what they hope? That the people with Autism will finally give up and kill themselves and extinguish??? Boy, does this show the ignorance here as it doesn't work this way at all.
I'm loosing faith in humanity. I thought we were all people able to feel compassion and love, no matter of age, country, skin color, health status or religious believes, but they more I see of this world and the more I understand that people only think of that, but they don't really apply it.
How difficult could it be to let this guy get the test again and give him a chance to graduate in time? And if you're going to tell me that he should have worked harder, please hold your tongue as I KNOW he worked harder that everybody else in that entire school. People graduate without knowing English nowadays, often because the family is rich and respectful, but for ordinary people that put all their efforts into it, they show up with nothing.
Nice message to communicate.
To the MOTHER in the video, my heart goes out......
Attention my readers: this post is a bit different that the ones I usually publish, it's not my usual positive and warm-and-fuzzy-kinda of post, it's more of an ugly rant. If you already are dealing with your owns issue and can't stand foul language, skip this one, I'll see you tomorrow.
I have to take something off my chest, it's been sitting there for a while like a burden that I've learned to carry on with my in my daily activities. But there is a limit to what I can take on me and still keep my head up on a smile, then there come a point when things start to pile up and pile up and pile up....and all hell break loose.
This post is about discrimination that my son (and me with him) is suffering because of his autism. And I'm not even sure he's aware of it, or of his condition for the matter. But I am. And while somethings sting, some others just plain hurt.
Last episode was hurtful, but mostly was unjust, unnecessary and could have turned in something every dangerous for my son's health. I need to share all this, so that it doesn't keep floating in my head, giving headache and affecting the way I see the world.
Last week, Gabriel had a male issue. I'm his main care giver, but on this one I was a bit at loss. So I goggled the symptoms and decided that a visit to the doctor was in order. I would usually bring him to our local family doctor that knows him from years, but unfortunately he retired. Having to pick a new doc, I decided that probably was best to get a pediatrician for this one, so off I went to the closest pediatric studio to see if I can get an app ASAP. The lady at the reception was very helpful, listened to my concerns, took a very nice medical history and gave me an appointment first thing for the morning: I was very impressed. But it didn't last long. Upon arriving to the office for my appointment, I was informed that the doctor was running late and he wasn't sure he could keep the appointment. In the meanwhile, Gabriel had starting having a light bleeding on top of his symptoms, so I stress the importance to see a doctor immediately. The lady then proceed to call the doc on the phone and then tells me that he can't take our case on after all because of my son Autism as he isn't an expert on the matter. I tried to make a few funny jokes explaining the woman to tell the doctor that I wasn't asking him to check my son "real" brain, but was still a no go, the doctor wouldn't see us but suggested we'd go to the emergency room if thing worsen. At this point I became very alarmed, if it was such a serious matter that required the ER, I really needed the doc to check it out. Still he refused, but the best part was when they tried to change me for the "visit" than never happen. That's when I finally took my shit up and left the office telling them "Try to bill me!!"
My mom educated me very good, too good, because this is a situation when I really hope I could get the balls to say what I really think and what I think it should be said.
Anyway, I did get the help I needed for my son issue and he's on a treatment that is working and he will be just fine. Thank goodness for that. I'm grateful, I really am, the people that ended up helping us were awesome with me and him, I can't thank them enough.
But I'm also pissed off with the ones that didn't help, I'm hurt, I'm fed up with this shit and I'm not gonna take it any more. I'm not gonna be "the good guy" anymore just because mommy taught me so. Being good isn't gonna cut it to get my son the help he needs WHEN he needs it and I'm sorry mom, but you're not gonna read this anyway and if you do, you won't understand English anyway. Translate it with Google and if I upset you, I'm sorry, I'm trying to be a good mom, just like you are to me.
So, here is the thing: I'm gonna tell you the name of the doctor that turned us away.
Actually, I have a list of "bad guys" that are screwing with Gabriel business and have for a long time. I'm gonna publish their names and you can go ahead and call them and let them know that I did. I don't care. Actually, I do want you to go ahead and call them, and let them know that what their are doing to us is bull shit and they can kiss my ass.
The doctor that turned us away is Luis Gomez, from ABC pediatric here in my hole in Niceville. Have a child that is autistic and he's bleeding? Don't go there, he won't take you. Doesn't matter if the bleeding is on a foot, hand or whatever, he won't take you as he's not an expert in Autism. No Pediatrician for you because you have Autism.
Wanna know the name of the school that is rejecting students that have Autism?
Bluewater elementary school, here in the "nice" Niceville. In particular, I want to thank the Guidance Counselor, Pat Licursi, for saying that sending Gabriel to a typical classroom will cause his to feel ridicule and we were bad parents for wanting to try, the staffing specialist Pat Dombrowsky to tell us that we have no clue to what it takes to teach a child with autism (I've only been doing it for 8 years after all!) and that if I didn't like the way the Okaloosa county was handling our situation I could go to private schools, and the county staffing specialist, Penny Mclean, that when I went to her to ask for help in my situation, did absolutely nothing, earning hard her salary (our tax $$$$). No school for you because you have Autism (you can only go to the closest school were the county decided that all the children with autism have to go!)
I had a fun and light little post planned for today, but truth is that it's a very sad day for me as I received a bad news from my family in Italy: my grandma (my dad's mom) died.
You have to know that I'm the oldest of my siblings and I've been away from my birth family for over 5 years now and of course when I was told that my grandma was really sick with Alzheimer, the scenario of receiving this news crossed my mind several times and I told myself that I was old and strong enough to receive the news with grace and without too much emotions at least the time necessary to end the phone call with dignity.
And I did.
For about 2 nano seconds.
Then tears, gulps and sigh took over and I had to tell my mom a very quick: "Can I call you later?".
Of course, having hubby standing right behind me asking what the hell happened over and over, helped me to pull my self together.
For about 2 more nano seconds.
Just enough to give him the news than dive to cry on his shoulder.
I'm crying so much my head hurts.
For my grandma, for my dad, for my aunts and uncles (my grandma had 8 awesome children, 4 males and 4 females).
Because I'm 10K miles away and, for reason I don't care to explain publicly, I can't even make a quick run over there to see her one last time and give her a good bye.
So, I'm crying some more.
Then I picked myself up and thought to write about all this, as writing is therapeutic and always makes me feel better. I realized with the most hurt in my heart that I have nothing about the woman, not a picture to show, just old memories of my childhood closed up in my head....
except: MY NAME.
Well, my maiden name anyway, it's the same as her married name as I was born in the core of the South of Italy where the tradition to name the first born after the dad parents is still going strong.
You also have to know that growing up, every time I've heard of my friend's grandparents dieing, I always imagined the day my grandma would and in my preteens years I always thought that I wouldn't be able to attend the funeral as I would be creep out to see my name on the headstone. I remember vocalizing this concern to my parents and never in a million years I would have thought that I wouldn't be attending her funeral after all.
Be careful what you wish for I guess. Meh.
Maybe it's better this way, it's better that I remember her still happy and busy in the kitchen, where she made the most delicious meals for whomever happened to show up at her door. Happy to open her door to children and grandchildren whatever we needed, happy to listen to us, to spoil us and every time we left just say: "The important thing is that you're ok". Never tired, always putting herself after everybody else, she lost that joy when my grandfather passed away more than 10 years ago.
Now, at least, they are reunited for ever, while I cry for a little while longer....