Look Beneath the Surface

Almost a month since last post.....what can I say! The new job and the online courses related to it, plus lesson planning and teacher trainings are keeping me very very busy! 

Not complaining, I'm loving it! 

 But today I want to share this poem with you. It was part of the reading material for a paper I had to write and it really struck a cord with me. 

So, here it goes: 

Look Beneath the Surface 

My voice may sound different than yours, but I speak your language. 

We speak the same language, but we say different things. 

I hear what people say about me and it isn’t pretty. 

Everyday I’m criticized because of my accent. 

I study hard and try to learn all I can about American culture, but that’s not enough.

 My voice holds me back. 

How would you like to hear what I hear? 

My eyes may look different than yours, But I see the same world. 

I see the same things you do, but you see me differently. 

You may see me as grade competition, but I work hard in school because going to college in America is a big deal to me. 

I see the way you treat me and it doesn’t look good. 

How would you like to see what I see? 

My skin may look different than yours, but I feel the same things. 

I have the same feelings you do.

 I laugh and I cry, but I do it for different reasons. 

I never hurt anyone, But I still know what it’s like to be feared. 

I get angry knowing that my hard work in school may not pay off because of my skin color. 

How would you like to feel what I feel? 

By Cynthia Lysen, University of Florida The Network Newsletter of Broward ESOL Council, Winter 1994 

This poem struck a cord with me because unfortunately I encounter this kind of behavior quiet often! 

Do you remember my "You're not American!" post? 

I thought after getting my citizenship one year ago things would get better. 

And many things improved, but many others stayed the same as I encountered the same prejudices and discrimination twice in the last week. 

*SIGH*

Oath ceremony: February 22nd 2013

If you follow my blog, you already know that I was working towards my citizenship this past months and after some bumps on the road (like this!), finally the day came: February 22nd I officially became an American citizen!! 

 And I promised to share, so here are the pictures. Please be kind, I look rough! That's what happened when you drive for 2 hours in pouring rain freaking out about not making it in time for the big day!!

  

The first shot is when they passed the mic around and asked me my name and where I was coming from. Let me tell you: MOST.EMBARRASSING.MOMENT.EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate talking in front a big mass of people and the place was packed. Plus I hate talking in the mic. UGH! 

  Unfortunately I don't have a clear shot of me actually reciting the oath of allegiance, but after the ceremony (that lasted about 4-5 hours!!!), I took a shot with the judges presiding while I'm holding the so coveted certificate of citizenship. 

 I must admit I'm really proud of myself for finally made the decision and go through the process. Wasn't easy task, but was worth it and I think it gave me some more confidence in doing more things more myself (but that's for another blog posts!) 

I also want to take the time and thank 2 very special online friends that supported me in this process. I talked about my friend Kayla at The Eclectic Element very often, she's very near and dear to me and she sent me the sweetest little package. But I want you to go look for yourself, in this lovely blog post the she dedicated to me: I'm American 

I love love love the scarf, I put it on to go at work the next day!!! Here it is!  

And the bracelet is simply adorable! I like especially the symbolism in it: it of course have red,white and blue beads to symbolize the American flag, plus some black beads for the Black history in the country (Martin Luther King Junior), a cross charm for our freedom of religion (some country are not so lucky, you know?) and a red heart for the love that moves everything in the universe. And, of course, it has "I'm American" hand stamped on it and I love it even more knowing that it's one of the first hand stamped pieced of Kayla. What an honor!!! LOVE.IT!  

My pictures really don't do justice to this lovely gifts, so please, visit Kayla's blog for some eye candy! 

 Another friend, Gail, also warmed my heart with this lovely necklace!!  

How can I NOT wearing it proudly? I have America in my heart!

 

Can't catch a break!

So yesterday was the big day, the day that off I went to take my citizenship test. 

All was planned and Monday night, we loaded the car and started driving to Jacksonville where I had reserved a lovely hotel room to rest before going to the Homeland Security Office. 

We arrived to the Best Western hotel at 1 am and was warmly greeted, they made me "guest of the day" and my name was in bald letters on their board at the entrance.....wish I took a picture of it! 

Plus, once in the room I found a sweet gift bag with 2 bottle of water and snacks for the kids, which was more than appreciated, since we were tired, exhausted and hungry. 

I didn't get the chance to get a picture of the little gift bag or the room before we messed it up unfortunately, but when I woke up in the morning, I caught a lovely view outside the window, just before sunrise. 

It was so beautiful and peaceful, it was just too bad that I had business to do elsewhere!! 

But we had time to enjoy the lovely breakfast they served which included everything for every tastes and needs, from eggs, to bread, to waffles, milk, coffee and pastries.....oh my!! 

I really wish I wasn't so nervous about the test I was gonna take! 

 Anyway, we arrived promptly at the Homeland Security Office and after a little wait it was my turn! I was shaking, but all went well and I'm happy to report that in a month or 2 I will be "officially" sworn in and become American! 

 All was well and we were on our way home thinking of a cool way to celebrate the event when the car starts acting up.....in the middle of the interstate!!! 

We barely make it to the next exit and at this point is clear that we need to have it towed :( 

And so the wait started! the tow truck finally came and it can bring us to the closer dealership, about 5 miles away. So a trip to the ATM and $120 later, we are at the dealership to see what the damage is but everybody is out for lunch......so we wait again! We do end up catching the longest train I ever saw just outside the glass walls of the dealership tho! 

Turns out that the transmission gave out :( 

 So we had to get a rental and try to get home the best I can..... 

I'm trying to stay positive and thinking that it could have been worse. 

I'm trying to get out of my head that this is not karma trying to tell me that becoming an American citizen just wasn't the right thing to do. 

BUT, the truth of the matter is that just now I was feeling like things were looking up and now I'm back to square one :(

Happy 4th of July!

Stay safe and dry! 

It's raining pretty bad over here, so we spent the day inside baking cookies!

You're not "American"!

Attention: this is another rant post with fool language and my own personal opinion about a controversial issue. Skip it to be drama-free. Thanks 

I get that A LOT. I got somewhere, I say "Hi" to someone and the first question I get is: "Where are you from?" 

 It irks me to no end and I'm gonna explain why. 

I leave in the United States of America, I've been in Florida for the past 5 years, but was born and leaved in Italy until I was 24 years old. I came to this country with lots of dreams and broken English. I think I mastered the basic of the language over time but yet it remains a very strong Italian accent in my speaking. I find it hideous and I'm very self-conscious about it, but on the other end, it defines me and who I was before coming here and who I still am. 

So, when somebody hears me talking and calls me on it, I find it incredibly rude and I get really defensive. My husband always gets on me, trying to explain that people are curious and attracted by the exotic part of me, but dude, I don't say Hi to people and ask them if they are American before we are on a first name basis and I think other people should do the same. Yes, I'm a righteous ass hat that treats people with respect and expect the same. Bite me. 

I can't count the times that I've been told that America should not allow immigrants in, "all those illegals free loaders that comes over here and gets all the benefits, don't pay taxes and get money out of the country". 

Can't tell you how many people say that this is what made the American economy so bad. 

I won't even mentions the times that I had a legit complaint about something and was answered "If you don't like it, go back to your country". I would if I could, trust me. 

I've taken the habit to politely smile and trying to explain that I'm perfectly legal, I have a viable visa, I have authorization to work and pay my own taxes. Last one that I got today is "If you're not a citizen, it doesn't matter, you're offending me". NICE. 

So, if you are among those "Americans" that think that immigrations if wrong and that immigrants caused your country to be in a bad financial state, let me explain you a few things. 

It wasn't me, or any other immigrants, stealing jobs. It was you "Americans" that were too good to get some of the job that are now available only to us. How many "Americans" do you know that work on the constructions, scorching in the sun od the side of the road fixing the pavements? I only see Mexican and Latinos doing jobs like that. But you, "American" drive on that same road with your expensive gas-sucking SUV and push the horn to get the workers out of the way. 

 It wasn't me, or any other immigrant, getting money out of your country. It was you "Americans" that went to outsource jobs in cheaper places like India and Pakistan, importing cheap stuff Made in China and living the "American Dream" maximizing several credits cards while getting food stamps and social disability from your government. 

It wasn't me, or any other immigrant, stealing your "culture" as you already didn't have one. The "original Americans" were Indians, all the rest came from all over the world. Maybe if you'd study your own country history you will know that. 

Regarding of a person like me, on a green card, begin a "free loader" and "enjoying the benefits", let me tell you something. 

 I paid money to get my visa. You didn't have to pay for your birth certificate. 

 I paid money and time to learn your language. Yet, you ruining with slangs. 

I went to college in my country and paid for it, now I will have to pay to have my life translated so I can be worth to do your mani and pedi. Most of you, have already job offers before you finish college. 

 I haven't seen my birth family in years, you move from state to state to avoid yours. 

I study your country cultures and celebrate holidays accordingly, like thanking the troops that are fighting for America on Memorial Day. You run to Walmart to buy meat for your barbeque and beer to get drunk. You don't even know or respect your own holidays, let alone mine. 

At the age of 30, I'm raising 2 American kids, supporting and loving American husband and I own my (small) business. At the age of 30, the average American is overweight, depressed, laid off/quit the after college job, and went back to leave with mom and dad on Welfare. 

And you know what? My accent is thick and my skin may be a different color, but my mom gave me an education on manners, didn't stuck me on day care so she could go get her tan at the beach. 

To be here, in this country, I spent all my life saving, gave up all my dreams, estranged my family, lost my friends, lost big events like their wedding or their funeral. I'm still waiting to start "enjoying my benefits" I guess.

 Next time you want to call me "illegal free loader" just stub me in the heart instead: it's the same thing. 

I'm always honest, I help when I can, I give to charity and I try to be fair and a better person EVERY DAY. If that offends you, it's not my problem, but yours. 

You're an ignorant, racist, bigot and I feel sorry for you.

If by becoming "American" means I can become more like you, then I guess I will be a "free loader" for life.