Look Beneath the Surface

Almost a month since last post.....what can I say! The new job and the online courses related to it, plus lesson planning and teacher trainings are keeping me very very busy! 

Not complaining, I'm loving it! 

 But today I want to share this poem with you. It was part of the reading material for a paper I had to write and it really struck a cord with me. 

So, here it goes: 

Look Beneath the Surface 

My voice may sound different than yours, but I speak your language. 

We speak the same language, but we say different things. 

I hear what people say about me and it isn’t pretty. 

Everyday I’m criticized because of my accent. 

I study hard and try to learn all I can about American culture, but that’s not enough.

 My voice holds me back. 

How would you like to hear what I hear? 

My eyes may look different than yours, But I see the same world. 

I see the same things you do, but you see me differently. 

You may see me as grade competition, but I work hard in school because going to college in America is a big deal to me. 

I see the way you treat me and it doesn’t look good. 

How would you like to see what I see? 

My skin may look different than yours, but I feel the same things. 

I have the same feelings you do.

 I laugh and I cry, but I do it for different reasons. 

I never hurt anyone, But I still know what it’s like to be feared. 

I get angry knowing that my hard work in school may not pay off because of my skin color. 

How would you like to feel what I feel? 

By Cynthia Lysen, University of Florida The Network Newsletter of Broward ESOL Council, Winter 1994 

This poem struck a cord with me because unfortunately I encounter this kind of behavior quiet often! 

Do you remember my "You're not American!" post? 

I thought after getting my citizenship one year ago things would get better. 

And many things improved, but many others stayed the same as I encountered the same prejudices and discrimination twice in the last week. 

*SIGH*

Help Henry!!!

This hits pretty close to home because as some of you know, we went through it recently with signing up my son Gabriel to the local public school. 

You might remember my rant from a while back..... 

Please help Henry by signing this petition. 

Please help me STOP AUTISM DISCRIMINATION!!!

No graduation for you

Yesterday was Mother's day and for me was a very difficult day. 

Sure, the cuddles and sweetness from hubby and the kids was nice, but in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but to miss MY mom and thinking how much my dad was missing his. 

Moms go through a great deal and I always thought that teenagers years were the worse, I know I myself gave my parents lots of headaches and disappointments as a teenager. Then again, my oldest is only 8 and I feel I already went through 10 times worse of whatever my parents experienced with the 3 of us. 

I wanted to come here and write a really cheerful post about mothers, when I came across this. 

Yet another proof that the world really doesn't understand what Autism is and how much it can affect these children and young adults out there. 

Do you know that a person with autism can get really depressed about this, at the point of thinking suicide? Is that what the other people wants? Is that what they hope? That the people with Autism will finally give up and kill themselves and extinguish??? Boy, does this show the ignorance here as it doesn't work this way at all. 

I'm loosing faith in humanity. I thought we were all people able to feel compassion and love, no matter of age, country, skin color, health status or religious believes, but they more I see of this world and the more I understand that people only think of that, but they don't really apply it. 

How difficult could it be to let this guy get the test again and give him a chance to graduate in time? And if you're going to tell me that he should have worked harder, please hold your tongue as I KNOW he worked harder that everybody else in that entire school. People graduate without knowing English nowadays, often because the family is rich and respectful, but for ordinary people that put all their efforts into it, they show up with nothing. 

Nice message to communicate. 

To the MOTHER in the video, my heart goes out......

No soup for you!

Attention my readers: this post is a bit different that the ones I usually publish, it's not my usual positive and warm-and-fuzzy-kinda of post, it's more of an ugly rant. If you already are dealing with your owns issue and can't stand foul language, skip this one, I'll see you tomorrow. 

 I have to take something off my chest, it's been sitting there for a while like a burden that I've learned to carry on with my in my daily activities. But there is a limit to what I can take on me and still keep my head up on a smile, then there come a point when things start to pile up and pile up and pile up....and all hell break loose.

This post is about discrimination that my son (and me with him) is suffering because of his autism. And I'm not even sure he's aware of it, or of his condition for the matter. But I am. And while somethings sting, some others just plain hurt.

Last episode was hurtful, but mostly was unjust, unnecessary and could have turned in something every dangerous for my son's health. I need to share all this, so that it doesn't keep floating in my head, giving headache and affecting the way I see the world.

 Last week, Gabriel had a male issue. I'm his main care giver, but on this one I was a bit at loss. So I goggled the symptoms and decided that a visit to the doctor was in order. I would usually bring him to our local family doctor that knows him from years, but unfortunately he retired. Having to pick a new doc, I decided that probably was best to get a pediatrician for this one, so off I went to the closest pediatric studio to see if I can get an app ASAP. The lady at the reception was very helpful, listened to my concerns, took a very nice medical history and gave me an appointment first thing for the morning: I was very impressed. But it didn't last long. Upon arriving to the office for my appointment, I was informed that the doctor was running late and he wasn't sure he could keep the appointment. In the meanwhile, Gabriel had starting having a light bleeding on top of his symptoms, so I stress the importance to see a doctor immediately. The lady then proceed to call the doc on the phone and then tells me that he can't take our case on after all because of my son Autism as he isn't an expert on the matter. I tried to make a few funny jokes explaining the woman to tell the doctor that I wasn't asking him to check my son "real" brain, but was still a no go, the doctor wouldn't see us but suggested we'd go to the emergency room if thing worsen. At this point I became very alarmed, if it was such a serious matter that required the ER, I really needed the doc to check it out. Still he refused, but the best part was when they tried to change me for the "visit" than never happen. That's when I finally took my shit up and left the office telling them "Try to bill me!!"

My mom educated me very good, too good, because this is a situation when I really hope I could get the balls to say what I really think and what I think it should be said.

Anyway, I did get the help I needed for my son issue and he's on a treatment that is working and he will be just fine. Thank goodness for that. I'm grateful, I really am, the people that ended up helping us were awesome with me and him, I can't thank them enough.

But I'm also pissed off with the ones that didn't help, I'm hurt, I'm fed up with this shit and I'm not gonna take it any more. I'm not gonna be "the good guy" anymore just because mommy taught me so. Being good isn't gonna cut it to get my son the help he needs WHEN he needs it and I'm sorry mom, but you're not gonna read this anyway and if you do, you won't understand English anyway. Translate it with Google and if I upset you, I'm sorry, I'm trying to be a good mom, just like you are to me.

So, here is the thing: I'm gonna tell you the name of the doctor that turned us away.
Actually, I have a list of "bad guys" that are screwing with Gabriel business and have for a long time. I'm gonna publish their names and you can go ahead and call them and let them know that I did. I don't care. Actually, I do want you to go ahead and call them, and let them know that what their are doing to us is bull shit and they can kiss my ass.

The doctor that turned us away is Luis Gomez, from ABC pediatric here in my hole in Niceville. Have a child that is autistic and he's bleeding? Don't go there, he won't take you. Doesn't matter if the bleeding is on a foot, hand or whatever, he won't take you as he's not an expert in Autism. No Pediatrician for you because you have Autism.

Wanna know the name of the school that is rejecting students that have Autism? Bluewater elementary school, here in the "nice" Niceville. In particular, I want to thank the Guidance Counselor, Pat Licursi, for saying that sending Gabriel to a typical classroom will cause his to feel ridicule and we were bad parents for wanting to try, the staffing specialist Pat Dombrowsky to tell us that we have no clue to what it takes to teach a child with autism (I've only been doing it for 8 years after all!) and that if I didn't like the way the Okaloosa county was handling our situation I could go to private schools, and the county staffing specialist, Penny Mclean, that when I went to her to ask for help in my situation, did absolutely nothing, earning hard her salary (our tax $$$$). No school for you because you have Autism (you can only go to the closest school were the county decided that all the children with autism have to go!)

There, it's done, feeling so much better.......